i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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