You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
