Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
