omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
