On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
