i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
