That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
