Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
