Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
