I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
