covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Non-Jews are for practice
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
