Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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