i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
