So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize