I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
