I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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