and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
