just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
