First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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