Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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