He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
