you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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