Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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