i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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