I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
