It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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