he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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