Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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