If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
God, you're like boner-b-gone
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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