I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize