girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
