That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you had me at cake vodka
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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