That's intense
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
