so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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