he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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