i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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