last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you will always have a special place in my vag
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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