where does the pee come out of this thing
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
