we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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