Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize