I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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