can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
