who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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