Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
