i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
