sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
