Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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