Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
