I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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