we have officially lost it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
