Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Found your dick twin last night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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