respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
