i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
