perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
