What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
