just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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