I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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