Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
